Friday, August 31, 2007

Marital Bliss

Life is not always perfect. In fact, it never is. So is a marriage. It is how you handle it and try to make it as perfect as it can be in your own world.

I have always admired my parents. Been married for over 22 years, still as sweet and loving as the first day they met. They would still call each other out for lunch during breaks from work, have long chats on the phone like any young and fresh couple whenever one's away, have every anniversary day reserved especially for the both of them- us, kids stay home. Dad never fails to give Mom praises and compliments and surprises. He always tells us, "Your Mummy's the most beautiful woman to me, even when she's old and grey." Now, Mom's undergoing Chemotherapy and Dad is going to accompany her to every single session.
Till this day, I can never recall seeing or hearing any fight or quarrel between my parents. What exactly is the secret of keeping a blissful marriage?
I have read a couple of articles that, in times of disagreement and fights, we should always bear in mind and remind ourselves the reason we fell in love with the person we are with, in the very first place. Impressive. And it is.

My husband? Well, Will made me laugh alot and I was always a happy person near him or just at the thought of him. He still makes me laugh and happy. I get to be completely myself with him and he has always been himself since we were just friends - yes, with all the flaws and few bad habits. LOL! I thought he was a nutcase for not caring if he would make a fool out of himself, but hey, that was what amused me. Yes, it is true, Guys. Girls would prefer you being your true self. So, don't try to be someone you are not. If she loves you, she should accept you for who you really are.

The sweetest thing my husband has ever done for me? Sweetest, ay? I would say Two. One, the wait and company home from my work till the wee hours every night when in the UK (not a single complaint, ever, and he even helped me clean up the workplace, making him my manager's favourite) and the piggybacks he insisted on giving me from the frontwalk, into the house and up the stairs, though I declined them- he did give them, still, anyway. Two, for staying beside me in Labour Room though he had a whole night without sleep and then guiding me in breathing and pushing properly during delivery. He almost cried when our son was born!

Communication. Good communication is vital in any relationship. Any dissatisfaction and worry, or even a happy issue, should always be shared. I have come to an agreement with Will that we should share and voice out anything that concerns one or the both of us. Said, I want to be able to talk to him openly and clear any doubt and problems calmly and I want him to feel that he could talk to me about anything as well. It has worked brilliance, indeed, ever since. If you are not a good comforter, at least be a good listener and then try your best, in your own way to make things right. It makes a heck loads of difference than choosing to shut yourself out.

Keep in contact. This does not mean that we should track down our significant other's every move. At least, say, if you are out with friends or at work and should be home late, give a call. A short one will do. It saves the other who is waiting for you at home from pointless worries. Why not try this? Surprise the other once in a blue moon with messages or short call telling he/she that he/she is in your thoughts. It will certainly make one's day. I know it does.
Most marriages these days seem far from the picture of a happy ending like most marriages back then. Perhaps this is why most people fear the 'I do's. I always remember my Dad saying that he disrespects people who commit infidelity in marriage. It is a shame for they have not only broken the promise they made to their spouse on their wedding day, but the promise they made before God. So, remember this, men and women alike.

I may have just been with my man for over 3 years and we are still 'Just Married', but I believe I have found my own marital bliss.:) I will keep this going.

Thank you, Babe, for remembering every anniversary and your effort for making the best out of each and every of our days.

I can still see the clear pictures in my mind, of old English couples we saw, hunched and on walking sticks, holding hands, and the sweetest and most touching one of all, an old husband gently pushing his old and crippled wife in a wheelchair, out and about town.

Why shouldn't every marriage last this way?

Monday, August 06, 2007

Women: Revolutionised

Understanding women.
Guys, do you ever bother to?
Personally, I've only known a couple of great male friends who actually do and have taken the heart and initiative to try and understand this so-called complicated and fragile species.
You claim that we are the weaker species. Well, generally speaking, strength-wise, we are still the weaker ones (NOT counting some *ahem* softy SHEmales tho...) So, guys who take out on their girls or wives, SHAME ON YOU!Where the hell are your balls?! Pick on someone your own size and strength!
Chivalry's DEAD. If you can find me 2 out of 10 perfect gentlemen who still sincerely care for and respect a woman and her worth, I'd LOVE to meet those two!Preeetty PLEEEASE!:D
So, what do women want?
YOU say it's a headache understanding us. How hard is it to understand the one species who likes talking things out and tries solving any problems and queries that bother them? At least we don't find connection through rounds of drinking, talking craps or football shows and games, whatever else I've left out, you name them. We COMMUNICATE. How is it possible that any problems get solved when one refuses to communicate and opts to run away from anything that bothers him until he finds his own peace and then assumes that the problems are gone. HEY, problems don't just disappear! If you run away from them, they'd only collect and build up into a huge pile of junks waiting to explode BIG TIME someday later. And when that happens, who do you blame? ALWAYS US, Females! Say we're the problem. We bug you, we bother you...yada yada yada. How fair's that?! Have you ever looked deep into yourselves and think how selfish you really are??
Okay, here's another I just don't get. A guy can have many girls and he's the man. He can even give her sweet talks and sex her off. Yet a girl can do the same and she's a whore. No doubt it's a stupid and disrespectful game of cheating, whether it's a man or a woman doing it. The table's turned. It's simple. You started it, and now it's a fair game we'd like to join in just to get even. :)
Oh no...We've long waved goodbye to being household 'pet' you keep at home to make your beds and living area clean and cozy or preparing you sumptuous meals ready on the dining table when you open the door and then serve you whenever you need us. Well, we can still do those, only that we ain't that stupid anymore. Relationship and life are about giving and taking. Yes, you say it well and enough. Try applying it then:) Thank You. Oh, in case you haven't noticed, we enjoy working our asses off, upgrading ourselves, physically, educationally and emotionally. We CAN, in fact, stand on our own two feet if one day you've decided that you've gotten bored with the one female you already have and want to stray. Go ahead. We ain't gonna suffer or threathen to kill ourselves and die. That's the most ridiculous thing to do!
You admit you're the dumber species who don't take hints. You want us to be straightforward but you can't seem to take every comment or straightforward queries we throw at you. Why? Then try to be a little more sensitive. Picture yourselves in a woman's shoes. How would you feel if we overlook your feelings. If we forget your happy and important ocassions? If we ever make you feel unappreciated or kept in the dark? How's that?
Life's never fair, they say. Most of the time, we tend to take more than we give. There needs to be a balance if there should be peace.
This piece of article's on generally gender issue. No offence on specific guys who are exceptions, or so you think. Heh:P So, guys, give a shout out about what is actually going on in your mind and heart! We think you're the complicated and hard-to-figure-out species!