It was listed on Yahoo! that money is a main problem and the culprit to a broken marriage.
Is it really?
They say the lack of money leads to arguments between the couple, hence the wreakage in the long run.
It is necessary to have a good financial health, whether one is in a marriage or not, no doubt. Having enough money to support a couple's or the family's standard of living is a convenience.
However, I personally think that the major problem and the culprit to any fights or problem in a marriage is not money itself. It is rather, one's perception of money and the financial roles that should be played by each individual in a married life.
Once you have understood or come to terms with each other regarding the responsibilities of the husband and the wife regarding money matters, the lack of money will never be the blame if the marriage should fail. I guess human being human are just too proud or ignorant to admit that it is their own fault. What is the point of marriage counselling then if for every failed marriage, the divorcees simply conclude that it was because of money problem? Perhaps that is why the poll states a high percentage and shows money being the number 1 marriage killer these days.
When you are single and unattached, it is easy spoiling yourself rotten with the money that you have or will earn. You can even spend away till you burn a hole in your pocket, for all you care, and no one ought to care nor bother you if it is your own money (unless you get into debts, then you need not worry about creditors).
So, when one were to get married, this easygoing single's perception ought to be shifted. There will be another person who will and has every right in your life, to care about your finances. When you start a family, your roles shift as well. There will of course, be more responsibilities. Until you understand fully the concept of marriage and are wise enough about money matters in a marriage, then providing financially for the family should never be labelled as 'burden' - sounds familiar?
Money is essential for alot of things, but really, money is not everything.
Money can buy you a house, not a home. Money can get you some of the beautiful women in the world or the hottest young boytoy, but it can never find you true love. Money can buy you all the luxuries that you could ever wished for as a kid, but it can never guarantee you happiness. These tend to sound a bit cliche now, you might think, but they still stay true. I believe they do apply.
So, what do we work for? Money? So what if you were to have billions of dollars under your name? Think again.
Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness, however, is the key to success. One has to love the job one is doing and be happy, and everything else shall fall into place.
Saturday, November 06, 2010
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Living the Moment
Wow! I just finished browsing through my previous posts on my currently 'neglected' blog. Well, it just looks neglected, but really, I have at several attempts logged in and thought of posting something up, but either stopped halfway 'cause I got stuck, or I simply ended up staring blankly at the screen 'cause I had no idea where and how to start.
Not that I know for sure what I am to write now, but I figured, yeah, it is better to throw in whatever comes to mind. Just write rather than abandon the whole idea. I do miss writing, and certainly do not want this passion to just fizzle out. So, it is time to get the ball rollin' again.
Ah, it is good to be back at hometown, spending time with my family and Nathan. After few days of going out with parents, I now realize my memory has been pretty poor lately! I find I cannot remember or recall things I did or places I visited for the past few years. My memory had always been great, and I can still recall alot of things from my past, before the past current few years, that is. So, what happened in between?
Have I got too busied with life's expectations to remember to stop and live in the moment? Perhaps. Well, no. Most probably, that is the case.
Hmm.. How to live in the moment?
They say hold no expectations and drop all judgement. When u expect, you are not savouring the moment and experience at hand. When you judge, either positively or negatively, you are making a conclusion of how things will turn out already, before anything happens.
So, instead of living in the future - worrying about what tomorrow will be, we should just take a step back and analyse and make use of what is at hand. Enjoy now, today. They call it the 'Present' afterall.
I remember at times before, while driving or walking alone, I would remind myself to stop thinking and just take in my surroundings - the trees, the blue sky, the white puffy clouds, the birds, the sun or the moon and the stars. They are still there, always. And they are beautiful. We have just gotten ourselves too busy to remind ourselves that such wonderful creations are created by God for us. It may seem they serve little purpose, but do you really think so?
Also, after looking back at my previous posts, I realize I wrote the most back in 2008. I guess I lived in the moment at that time. Of course not everyday was happy day. Life is filled with ups and downs. But yeah, I remember I treasured every single day and moment or experience then, whether good or bad. Oh, and I had that intention to write at least every month for the year. So, my year had a purpose.
So, I guess I need to start getting back my life - living in the moment, and finding my purpose.
Cherish the moment. It is the little little things in life that matter most in the end. :)
Not that I know for sure what I am to write now, but I figured, yeah, it is better to throw in whatever comes to mind. Just write rather than abandon the whole idea. I do miss writing, and certainly do not want this passion to just fizzle out. So, it is time to get the ball rollin' again.
Ah, it is good to be back at hometown, spending time with my family and Nathan. After few days of going out with parents, I now realize my memory has been pretty poor lately! I find I cannot remember or recall things I did or places I visited for the past few years. My memory had always been great, and I can still recall alot of things from my past, before the past current few years, that is. So, what happened in between?
Have I got too busied with life's expectations to remember to stop and live in the moment? Perhaps. Well, no. Most probably, that is the case.
Hmm.. How to live in the moment?
They say hold no expectations and drop all judgement. When u expect, you are not savouring the moment and experience at hand. When you judge, either positively or negatively, you are making a conclusion of how things will turn out already, before anything happens.
So, instead of living in the future - worrying about what tomorrow will be, we should just take a step back and analyse and make use of what is at hand. Enjoy now, today. They call it the 'Present' afterall.
I remember at times before, while driving or walking alone, I would remind myself to stop thinking and just take in my surroundings - the trees, the blue sky, the white puffy clouds, the birds, the sun or the moon and the stars. They are still there, always. And they are beautiful. We have just gotten ourselves too busy to remind ourselves that such wonderful creations are created by God for us. It may seem they serve little purpose, but do you really think so?
Also, after looking back at my previous posts, I realize I wrote the most back in 2008. I guess I lived in the moment at that time. Of course not everyday was happy day. Life is filled with ups and downs. But yeah, I remember I treasured every single day and moment or experience then, whether good or bad. Oh, and I had that intention to write at least every month for the year. So, my year had a purpose.
So, I guess I need to start getting back my life - living in the moment, and finding my purpose.
Cherish the moment. It is the little little things in life that matter most in the end. :)
Friday, April 30, 2010
Set me free
Right before you close your eyes
to go to bed at night,
Do I still cross your mind?
When you dream in your sleep,
Do you dream or wish to dream of me?
When you open your eyes
to the morning light,
Do I come to mind, ever?
When I am with you,
Are you really there for me
and with me? (not just physically?)
When you are up on top,
in your happiest moments,
Do you remember me?
If you do something,
knowing it will hurt or offend me,
Will you feel for me?
If I say I am happy,
Do you laugh with me?
If I tell you I am sad,
Will you hear me out
and not turn away?
When I dream a dream,
Will you hope and dream
for me?
Or will you put me down?
If I tell you I am dying...
Will you still care
and love me all the same?
I do not ask for your full attention,
As I respect your personal space
and rightful freedom.
I never ask for you to change (for me)
If you do, your nasty ways,
I would want it to be for you.
I do not ask for all your heart,
For I know you have dear family
and friends to care for (& so do I).
I do not want your money,
a big house or fancy cars.
For I believe I can earn
and achieve the same.
But who am I to demand
from you anything?
What right do I have to
make you see and do me right?
No, I do not own you,
Nor do you, me.
When you tell me, "I Love You",
What is the meaning behind it?
What makes you so sure you do?
And what makes me so worthy of your love?
Help me see,
(Oh, I have tried.)
Let me be...
Or, just set me free.
to go to bed at night,
Do I still cross your mind?
When you dream in your sleep,
Do you dream or wish to dream of me?
When you open your eyes
to the morning light,
Do I come to mind, ever?
When I am with you,
Are you really there for me
and with me? (not just physically?)
When you are up on top,
in your happiest moments,
Do you remember me?
If you do something,
knowing it will hurt or offend me,
Will you feel for me?
If I say I am happy,
Do you laugh with me?
If I tell you I am sad,
Will you hear me out
and not turn away?
When I dream a dream,
Will you hope and dream
for me?
Or will you put me down?
If I tell you I am dying...
Will you still care
and love me all the same?
I do not ask for your full attention,
As I respect your personal space
and rightful freedom.
I never ask for you to change (for me)
If you do, your nasty ways,
I would want it to be for you.
I do not ask for all your heart,
For I know you have dear family
and friends to care for (& so do I).
I do not want your money,
a big house or fancy cars.
For I believe I can earn
and achieve the same.
But who am I to demand
from you anything?
What right do I have to
make you see and do me right?
No, I do not own you,
Nor do you, me.
When you tell me, "I Love You",
What is the meaning behind it?
What makes you so sure you do?
And what makes me so worthy of your love?
Help me see,
(Oh, I have tried.)
Let me be...
Or, just set me free.
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