As I Mature

I got this off my girlfriend. It gave me good laughs, but hey, these are facts! (Well, most of them.)

As I Mature

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you.
All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

I've learned that no matter how much I care,
some people are just assholes.

I've learned that it takes years to build up trust,
and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes.
After that, you'd better have a big willy or huge boobs.

I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others
- they are more screwed up than you think.

I've learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you're finished.

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do,
unless we are celebrities.

I've learned that regardless of how hot or steamy a relationship is at first,
the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to take its place!

I've learned that 99% of the time when something isn't working in your house,
one of your kids did it.

I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon
and all the less important ones just never go away.



Okay, for the big willy and huge boobs part, I'd rather have a big heart & good brain.

Also, I don't believe that money works in saving a dying relationship. Of course it makes everything convenient when there is money, but if none is trying or playing his/her part to revive the relationship, it cannot be saved. Period.


Anyways, just for laughs :)