Science or Spiritual?

photo from elephantjournal.com

Just earlier this month, I have had continuous out-of-the-world experiences. I have googled up about them and been trying to rule out the exceptions so I could come up with the best conclusion for what exactly I have experienced. As always, Science would come up with tons of reasons, but I have also stumbled upon a few good spiritual ones. So, let me get into detail about what I felt and went through.

The first recent one happened on a Saturday dawn, after I woke up to make milk for my 6-month-old daughter. My husband, Will was up with me for I was pretty exhausted as Baby Mikaela did not have a good night's sleep and had already woken up few times throughout the night. So, he helped give her her feed as I tried to go back to sleep.

As I was just about to drift off, I felt paralysed. I was aware of everything around me - my son, Nathan sleeping beside me; my husband on his iPad after putting Mikaela to bed, but I could not speak nor move. I know they call this Sleep Paralysis and it is normal as it occurs during your REM sleep and what happens is your body has gone to sleep, but your brain is still awake. Hmm, I have experienced sleep paralysis before. However, this was different. I did not hallucinate or feel breathless as would normally be reported by people who experience sleep paralysis. During my sleep paralysis, I felt a tingling sensation travelling up my body, from my toes to the tip of my head. I felt my soul was being sucked out from my body, and the whole time, I was fighting it. I was praying hard in my head as I could not utter a word. This happened for alot of rounds before I finally knocked out perhaps from exhaustion, and then the next thing I knew I was awake when Mikaela woke up that morning. I felt pretty tired, but did not go back to sleep. I remembered what happened earlier, but I shook it off as a reaction from my exhaustion, until...

Will told me he had a nightmare about me, when he went back to sleep after his iPad (which was during or after the time of my experience). He dreamt I was murdered. Coincidence? Perhaps, but do coincidences happen alot of times?

My first such experience was when I was 16. It happened once then and I ruled that out as me being overly stressed out with too many things to juggle with in my hands then. There were school, tuitions, assignments, extracurricular activities - clubs and more clubs. I still remember I was up studying for the Physics test the next day. My little brother saw me before he went to bed in my parents' (he was 5) as he bid me "Goodnight". A while later, I decided to go to bed as well, as I was getting sleepy and could not get anymore Physics into my head. Just as I was drifting off to sleep, I felt paralysed - same thing, could not move nor speak, and I could still hear the football game on the TV my Dad was watching outside in the living room. I could open my eyes, though. I felt that same 'soul being sucked out of body' sensations and I was also praying hard and fighting it. As I opened my eyes, I could see my room as it was, from the side position I was lying in, and as the soul-sucking feeling continued, I could see myself floating up from my bed towards my room's ceiling( I always had my nightlamp on). I kept praying and when I finally snapped out of it, I could not go back to bed anymore and I took out my Physics book to read again. Then I heard my Dad went into his bedroom. A few minutes later, he came into my room and told me my brother was having a nightmare and was calling out to me in his sleep. Dad asked me to go see my brother and tell him I was alright. Coincidence? I felt uneasy, and so I asked if I could sleep on the floor in my parents' for the night. As I was lying there, and my Dad was saying his prayers before bed, my whole body was trembling uncontrollably until I fell asleep. I asked my brother the next day what he dreamt of me the night before, but he shuddered and refused to say a thing about it. He only told me it was too scary.

Ok, and now back to my recent experience.

I went about the whole day as normal, not giving anymore thought about what occurred earlier. Then, that second night, it happened again. This time, it was not sleep paralysis because I was not even asleep yet! Mikaela had a late night, took me some time to put her to bed. Nathan was fast asleep since earlier. Will went downstairs to catch some football on TV. I was just lying down next to Nathan when I felt it. It was that tingling sensation, that cool feeling travelling up my body, and I felt out of the moment, and not myself. Thinking that it was sleepiness which triggered it, I quickly sat upright in bed and the feeling did not go away at all. I hurried downstairs to Will and the entire time, as I was on the move, I could still feel it, and I was fighting with whatever was sucking my soul out of my body at the time. When I got to Will, I literally felt I went all white. My visions were a bit blurry and bright. When Will saw me, he quickly got up because I had goosebumps all over me. He turned off the TV and lights and held me as we went upstairs. I kept talking to him, as I fought the feeling. It was as if my body was going to collapse the very next minute and I did not know what was going to happen to my soul.

As we got to the bedroom, I fumbled for the Holy Bible. I had the lights on as I sat in bed to read the words of God. I was asking God to please not let anything happen to me then, No, not then, as it was the middle of the night and I had two kids to care for. As I was reading the bible, my body trembled violently and I felt very cold, and had rounds of goosebumps even though the air-conditioner was turned off and Nathan was actually sweating in his sleep. Will was quietly reading from his iPad beside me, only asking me once in a while if I was okay, as I trembled uncontrollably. He said my face was white. After about an hour of trembling, it stopped and I felt warm. I said my prayer and tried to go to sleep, hugging the Bible.

Hear this. Before what occurred, Will came up to the room because he said he heard a woman wailing and thought it was me and so he went to check if we were all alright. I certainly did not wail. I was putting Mikaela to sleep. I heard nothing either.

I googled up my 2nd night's experiences. There was OBE (Out of Body Experience) and Astral Projection - everything to do with the soul leaving the body. I read that sleep paralysis is part of the process of OBE, followed by vibrations and loud buzzing sounds in the head. Well, I never had any vibration and certainly did not hear any sound at all. Plus, the 2nd time, I was not even asleep! I could not find anything about OBE or astral projection while on the move or in an active state.

There were OBE, normally occurring in people during near-death experiences; and OBE triggered and induced by drugs or chemicals - used by military as Biological Weapons in spying on enemies in another place or country; and self-triggered OBE - there were videos on YouTube showing steps on how to have your soul out of your body for the night! Or there was meditation which can also allow you to experience OBE. It is claimed that you can have the freedom to travel to places you have always dreamt of, check on loved ones elsewhere and even meet up with other souls - sounds cool, huh? NOT! I think it sounds crazy! It is a completely out-of-the-world and scary experience. You do not know what is going to happen to you next and after your soul leaves your body, then? What if it never comes back? Besides, like I said, I did not go through the proper progress towards OBE. Neither did I trigger it nor did anything unconsciously which may have triggered it. It was against my will and I had to fight it even when I was moving around!

Then I tried searching on other possibilities. I came upon 'Panic Attack' - this is actually a medical condition, not the 'panic attack' expression that people so widely misuse as over-exaggeration in everyday sentences. There were blurred vision, feeling out of place and not yourself, but I did not experience everything else listed, such as bad headache or nausea or tummy ache, etc. People with panic attacks usually continue feeling weird for a longer time after. I did not.

I also came upon many stories of similar or close to my encounters. Some say it is Paranormal, some say it is demonic attacks.

Whatever it is, I feel that praying works and knowing that God is around and with me makes me feel safe and comfortable. I am not claiming that I am holy. I am not perfect, a sinner and have many times let God down by my human and earthly stupidity. I do know that He is always there for me -even at times when I have gotten too 'busy' for Him. O Lord, please forgive me.

Two days after my encounters, I did not feel anything and was able to catch some sleep at night. I was praying the Rosary and reading the Bible before sleep. However, on the third evening, when I was alone, I felt a presence and I began to pray out loud and I said "By the Power of the Lord Jesus Christ, I command you to leave me alone. Leave us alone!" When I said this, I had goosebumps all over as I felt unseen entities flying in chaos around me, and then cold wind blowing up my back. I could even hear the wind. There was nothing around to have blown such wind. The windows were not opened. As I continued fighting it, saying "Leave us alone!", I felt weak and had that feeling of soul being sucked out again, while I was wide awake and on the move.

I called up my parents to tell them about these. They got worried, but asked me to continue praying and putting my faith in God.

That night, I said my prayers and Rosary and read the bible before bed and when falling asleep, I could still feel there was cold wind blowing around me, but there was this layer around me, protecting me. So, nothing touched me, but I was aware it was around. Well, Praise the Lord!

Call me cliche or crazy. I do not care. Besides, Science exists because of God. He is the Creator afterall. It does not interest me what people say or think of me for I care more about what God would think of me when I stand before Him on Judgement Day.

So, I will continue praying the Rosary everyday now and read the Words of God, for it truly indeed, is very powerful. I still would feel presences sometimes, but I am no longer afraid.

The Lord is my Saviour. There is nothing I shall fear.

The Lord is my Shepherd. There is nothing I shall want.