I do not like it when it gets dark,
It reminds me of that unfateful night
And that call I received from Daddy at about 3am...
I used to think about it when I heard news or saw movies of such.
Now that it is really happening to me,
It feels so odd, so raw...
It shocks us all still - so sudden, so unexpected...
I did not even get to see you
There are so many things I wanted to share with you,
So many I have yet to do with you and for you,
Places you wanted to go "When I get better," you would say.
We all looked forward and clung to that hope all these whiles...
Gone too soon...
I wish I could hold you,
Supposed to spend this time off with you
But now I am here... mourning.
Always so selfless, and putting us and our needs before yourself,
You hid your agony and sufferings from us kids...
I beat myself up for not being medically-knowledgeable or educated enough to see the signs.
Such strong will, you fought till the very end, never giving up.
Was it the doctor's mistake and negligence? Treatment gone wrong? Or wrong timing?
I am sorry I was not even there for you and with you...
But what is the use of putting blames now?
It changes nothing. It cannot bring back my Mummy...
Over the years, you have cried for me and with me; laughed with me; worried for me; gotten angry or disappointed in me, but you never stopped believing in me; prayed unceasingly for me;
And most importantly, you have taught me how to love, and to pray and know God.
Your love and legacy shine through and shall live on forever...
It comforts me though, to know that you are in a better place now
Home where it is filled with much beauty, peace, love and joy.
At least it ends and takes away your pain and sufferings...
Now that you are with the Lord,
I shall be strong and good and do my part to the greater Glory of the Lord, as you had
So that I may be reunited with you again
And all the faithful ones
When my time on Earth has come.
I love you and I miss you dearly, Mummy...
Love,
Your Daughter
