Will I stay, knowing that I have no love for the person I am with, but only a sense of security?
My answer will have to go with Anthony's, which is, No. I will leave.
It is true. Why should one be selfish enough to just 'make use' of the significant other for security and a sense of belonging?
Put yourself in the other's shoes. Say, would you be happy to find out that your other half only sticks with you because he/she feels secure, not because he/she loves you still? I know I cannot accept that. I would be devastated. I would feel so, so used.
Besides, there is really no point of staying. Would you be happy having to eat, drink, breathe, or perhaps, spend the rest of your life with one you feel no affection nor love for?
There is no doubt one feels great knowing he/she is being loved. I can tell you it feels even greater to know that you love as much as being loved. This is Life. It is not right to only receive, but to give as well.
Lynn did mention about commitment. Now, this is another issue.
Why and when does one commit?
Men, please. Ditch the belief that women are the kind who jump into commitment or get crazeeey about marriage. It is a Myth!
Truth is, women (these days) do fear marriage. Well, not marriage as it is, but a marriage gone wrong i.e. marrying the Wrong One.
Definitely, we do not simply commit to another.
Divorce seems to be a common matter nowadays. Why? Most would go with the popular reason - being "Irreconcilable Differences".
Is it really because these couples were not meant for each other, or that they believe they have fallen out of love with each other?
Is it really possible or probable to fall out of love with someone, at all?
Or is it simply because their marriage has just gone stale? Perhaps, they have not spent enough quality time together or shown enough affection. They need to constantly remind themselves the reason they fell in love with each other in the very first place, and most importantly, the reason they decided to be each others' soulmates and tie the knot.
Unless they married for security instead of love, their marriage could have really ended badly.
It is not unusual for people to mistaken the sense of belonging and security for being with the other, as a sign that he/she is ready to commit to the significant other.
So, how does one know that the one he/she is with is the Right One?
There is really no right or wrong answer to this question. The 'requirements' to be the Right One for oneself may and shall never be similar to another's expectations.
Let's put it this way. You will know when the Right One comes. Only you can tell.
So, marry your Right One, for Love and Security, with Commitment.
12 comments:
Hi! Chiew Lee here. just drop by and say hello =P
yeap sylvia, i really agree with u on the fact that if u dont love each other, then might as well make things easier for the both of u. to find 'the one' isnt easier mannn..haha..but i think you will know once u found them..right right right sylviaa...
There is this saying that goes, "better short suffering than long suffering.."
Hi, Chiew Lee!:) How've u been?
Anthony: Haha! Right. But I really think ppl should never put way too high expectations on their 'future Right One'. No one's perfect. When u keep expecting for the best, u might jst miss it even when the Right One's right in front of u all along.
Lynn: Yes, that's true. Truth hurts, but staying in the dark, believing in white lies, only to find out the truth much later can 'kill' you.
Hello! a little late on the commenting, but i think it depends on the context.
Say I went into this relationship knowing from the start that it's a commitment and love is mroe than just a feeling and all that; then yes, one should remain in that relationship; otherwise, the word commitment bears no meaning.
But if i went into a relationship not knowing about the depths of commitment, not having a full understanding of what love means (which should be that of UNconditional love, really) then yes, i will probably leave. also, on the count that my partner does not make any effort or that he's not keen on working anything out.
But i've heard from somewhere which says that if you enter a marriage thinking of a the probability of a divorce - that relationship is sorta bound to fail because s/he is already looking for a way out before the commitment even begins!
Wow, all are so true. Does opens up my eyes.
Lydia: Yes, I absolutely agree with you. That is why 'Commitment' itself does not come easily. One has to truly understand the true meaning of love, yes, UNconditional love first, & find the right one at the right time to commit to.
I am fine here. How bout you? What are you doing now besides being a mum and a wife?=P
Chiew Lee: I'm doing good. Why, I'm just living life as anybody else does besides the fact that I have more responsibilities at hand to juggle with, what with being a mum & wife :)
Am currently working and doing part-time studies as well, and taking care of my kid at night and during off days or hols.Sounds like I'm busy every min of every day, but really, I love it :)
My question sounds weird huh, but I dont mean anything.=P
I haven't see you for like 2 years!haha..the last time I saw you was last year before CNY, before you have cute Nathan. so, you are now in KB or in brunei?
Owh? Was it last year?? Wait. Where did you see me again? Sorry, I can't recall. :S
I'm in Bandar now :)
Ya're studying in Aussie,ey? Which part?
Ya, it was last year, at the gong xi bazaar. The before CNY market. I am in Adelaide(a boring city) now.
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