Year 2012

Happy New Year! Heh, comes a little late here.

The welcoming of the new year was a fun and memorable one this time around. Our friends decided to throw a costume party. Anyone without a costume would be fined a 30-second shot of pure liquor. Brrr~!! 3-second shots were a bit too much already, so no, thanks! We managed to custom make our very own last-minute and low-cost costumes...

Greek togas. Haha! I especially enjoyed making the laurel crown - the leafy headpiece.

Here, with some of the other girls and their awesome costumes.

and some of the rest...

It's been 9 days into the year 2012. Am down with a bad sorethroat which leaves me drowsy and nauseous, and tired pretty much from the restless sleep with odd dreams I've been getting.

Heck! I can leave myself feeling helpless and beaten up by that, or I can choose to fight it and cure myself the soonest I can. And I'm going with the latter.

The same goes to alot of things in my life now.

"When life throws you lemons, make lemonade."

I am going to really live up to that saying starting this year onwards. Take each day as it comes and make the fullest out of every day and live it like it is my last...

There are alot of things in my life, be it past or present, which bite me. However, I have come to realize that all these experiences in life are what make us who we are today. With what we already know now, we'd sometimes wish to go back in time and change certain things. I do know this - that the bigger regrets later in life are the things we never did, not those we have done. Everything happens for a reason and that's why some things and people don't make it further into our lives. So, live! Life is too short to be sitting around, fretting or grieving or wondering! :)

Man in the Mirror

Nothing speaks louder for itself than the title and lyrics of this song from the legendary Michael Jackson.
"I'm starting with the man in the mirror. I'm asking him to change his ways, and no message could have been any clearer. If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and make that change..."

I do not know what does it, but I guess this is what it means to have grown up. I am 25 now (Scary, I know when it is already halfway towards the big 3-0 *Gulps*). Then again, age is just a number and yes, I believe that each birthday should be a celebration for the experience and achievements one has accomplished throughout his/her life.
These days, I have come to realize that amidst any bad vibes and stress from the environment, I have managed to not let those negativity get to me too much. I find that I react in better and positive ways. I have learnt to shut myself away from certain petty things or issues which are not worth my time or concern. And the effect of all these, I have noticed that the people around me react and behave in better ways, too - well, at least towards me.
Although I am currently stuck mostly 24/7 with the kids, I find that I manage to find time for myself, doing minor things which I like or which amuse me even for a short little while. Either the newfound bliss from that or the joys I get from seeing my kids grow and accomplish each of their milestone over time, I have actually found my motivation and passion. *Yay*
For one, notice that I have started blogging again?
I am ready to take on new challenges. I have decided. I used to dream. Now my dreams have become plans. And 2012 will be a brand new year for great changes. :)

So, it is true that the way you act and think or feel have an effect on your environment. The Universe has a way of acting upon your thoughts or belief and expectations.

"You must be the change you want to see in the world." -Mahatma Gandhi

I believe that every obstacle is a blessing in disguise. The bigger the challenge, the bigger the opportunity that awaits you. You just got to open the right door.

Weyhey!

*This was supposed to be my first post for the year before 'Shameless', but somehow, it got lost or was never published.*

Whoa! It's been over a year my blog's been abandoned. There have been a lot of changes in this one year. One of 'em, we've welcomed a new member! Nathan's a big brother now to his baby sister, Mikaela! She's 19 weeks old now, by the way.
So, for the past 4 months up till now, my days AND nights pretty much revolve around the two kids. As joyful as our bundles of joys are, child caring is very exhausting! It is like a full time job, round the clock, that is! - entertainer and provider during the day, a comforter and guard and provider at night - waking to their cries of discomfort, for milk or diaper change(s), from nightmare perhaps... and the list goes on. One kid was bearable. Now that I've got two, I've only got my two hands to juggle between them two - loads of multitasking involved. I don't know how people in the olden days with a troop of kids and no maid, did it, but I guess they were Wonder Women! To those single parents out there, give yourselves a pat on your shoulders. You've done great! It gets pretty frustrating at times when you are unappreciated or under-valued for all you've done. For those who think that caring and raising kids are easy jobs, well, F*ck U's! - sorry for being vulgar, but Whew, that sure felt gooood.

Being a mother, our job does not end at giving life and bringing our child(ren) into this world. (Any fertile woman can bear and give birth to a child, but not any woman can be a mother.) It is a lifetime commitment. Unlike our enemies, we cannot ignore or stay away from our children just because they have turned bad, nor can we leave them out on our doorstep just because they give us headaches. What they are or will be is a result of our guidance and the roles we have shown them from young. Even when the children are old and grey, they will always be a mother's babies.
With or without a husband, once a woman is with child(ren), she will never be (or at least feel) single again (at least to me). Like it or not, she will always come in a package. :)

Shameless

Meet the Gallaghers. Mother, Monica left the family and has gone MIA for the past 21 months; father, Frank (the main character of the show)'s a hopeless drunk; eldest daughter, Fiona is playing Mom to the younger siblings and trying to keep everyone in order; eldest son, Lip (Philip)'s an academic genius and a science whiz who makes a living out of doing assignments for other fellow students or sitting for their SAT exams and giving physics tuitions to a neighborhood girl who's paying him with sexual favors; the third kid, Ian, is in Army ROTC in school and he's gay- which was first discovered by his brother, Lip; youngest daughter, Debbie's got a loving heart and she's also pocketing some of the money from the charity she's collecting year round; younger son, Carl is a rule breaker and likes the thrill in making other kids and animals suffer; and the toddler, Liam, is black and no one knows how.
I've been watching this TV series whenever I can - when the kids are settled or asleep. Pretty interesting. Such a dysfunctional family- 6 kids with a selfish and pathetic excuse of a father who's always claimed he's a proud and devoted single father, but spends his days and nights drunk and passed out on practically anywhere possible; a mother who could abandon her kids when the youngest was only 2 months old; yet it's amazing how the siblings manage to make ends meet every day, of course with Fiona, being the main caretaker and decision-maker who has to work endless dead-end jobs with minimum wages to make sure the bills get paid. It goes to show how affected the kids will be when the parents are screwed up. Nevertheless, I like the strong bonds between the independent siblings and how they stick together through all the good and mostly rough times. It's fun, witty, hilarious, naughty and downright senseless at times, but enjoyable at the same time. It's reality. Hits me on the head as a reminder again and again, that whenever I feel like I'm stuck in sh*thole, there are many out there who has suffered or is suffering more. If the Gallaghers can pull it through, what excuse do I have, really?

I'm watching the US version, based on the original award-winning British one on Channel 4 with the same name.
They say the British version is better (I reckon it must be, judging by the fact that it's an award winner), but I love the actors and actresses in the US version.

Money Matters?

It was listed on Yahoo! that money is a main problem and the culprit to a broken marriage.

Is it really?

They say the lack of money leads to arguments between the couple, hence the wreakage in the long run.

It is necessary to have a good financial health, whether one is in a marriage or not, no doubt. Having enough money to support a couple's or the family's standard of living is a convenience.
However, I personally think that the major problem and the culprit to any fights or problem in a marriage is not money itself. It is rather, one's perception of money and the financial roles that should be played by each individual in a married life.
Once you have understood or come to terms with each other regarding the responsibilities of the husband and the wife regarding money matters, the lack of money will never be the blame if the marriage should fail. I guess human being human are just too proud or ignorant to admit that it is their own fault. What is the point of marriage counselling then if for every failed marriage, the divorcees simply conclude that it was because of money problem? Perhaps that is why the poll states a high percentage and shows money being the number 1 marriage killer these days.

When you are single and unattached, it is easy spoiling yourself rotten with the money that you have or will earn. You can even spend away till you burn a hole in your pocket, for all you care, and no one ought to care nor bother you if it is your own money (unless you get into debts, then you need not worry about creditors).
So, when one were to get married, this easygoing single's perception ought to be shifted. There will be another person who will and has every right in your life, to care about your finances. When you start a family, your roles shift as well. There will of course, be more responsibilities. Until you understand fully the concept of marriage and are wise enough about money matters in a marriage, then providing financially for the family should never be labelled as 'burden' - sounds familiar?

Money is essential for alot of things, but really, money is not everything.
Money can buy you a house, not a home. Money can get you some of the beautiful women in the world or the hottest young boytoy, but it can never find you true love. Money can buy you all the luxuries that you could ever wished for as a kid, but it can never guarantee you happiness. These tend to sound a bit cliche now, you might think, but they still stay true. I believe they do apply.
So, what do we work for? Money? So what if you were to have billions of dollars under your name? Think again.


Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness, however, is the key to success. One has to love the job one is doing and be happy, and everything else shall fall into place.

Boo!

How sad. I just saw I have only managed 2 posts for 2010 up to date. Boo~!

Living the Moment

Wow! I just finished browsing through my previous posts on my currently 'neglected' blog. Well, it just looks neglected, but really, I have at several attempts logged in and thought of posting something up, but either stopped halfway 'cause I got stuck, or I simply ended up staring blankly at the screen 'cause I had no idea where and how to start.

Not that I know for sure what I am to write now, but I figured, yeah, it is better to throw in whatever comes to mind. Just write rather than abandon the whole idea. I do miss writing, and certainly do not want this passion to just fizzle out. So, it is time to get the ball rollin' again.

Ah, it is good to be back at hometown, spending time with my family and Nathan. After few days of going out with parents, I now realize my memory has been pretty poor lately! I find I cannot remember or recall things I did or places I visited for the past few years. My memory had always been great, and I can still recall alot of things from my past, before the past current few years, that is. So, what happened in between?

Have I got too busied with life's expectations to remember to stop and live in the moment? Perhaps. Well, no. Most probably, that is the case.

Hmm.. How to live in the moment?

They say hold no expectations and drop all judgement. When u expect, you are not savouring the moment and experience at hand. When you judge, either positively or negatively, you are making a conclusion of how things will turn out already, before anything happens.
So, instead of living in the future - worrying about what tomorrow will be, we should just take a step back and analyse and make use of what is at hand. Enjoy now, today. They call it the 'Present' afterall.
I remember at times before, while driving or walking alone, I would remind myself to stop thinking and just take in my surroundings - the trees, the blue sky, the white puffy clouds, the birds, the sun or the moon and the stars. They are still there, always. And they are beautiful. We have just gotten ourselves too busy to remind ourselves that such wonderful creations are created by God for us. It may seem they serve little purpose, but do you really think so?
Also, after looking back at my previous posts, I realize I wrote the most back in 2008. I guess I lived in the moment at that time. Of course not everyday was happy day. Life is filled with ups and downs. But yeah, I remember I treasured every single day and moment or experience then, whether good or bad. Oh, and I had that intention to write at least every month for the year. So, my year had a purpose.
So, I guess I need to start getting back my life - living in the moment, and finding my purpose.
Cherish the moment. It is the little little things in life that matter most in the end. :)

Set me free

Right before you close your eyes
to go to bed at night,
Do I still cross your mind?
When you dream in your sleep,
Do you dream or wish to dream of me?
When you open your eyes
to the morning light,
Do I come to mind, ever?
When I am with you,
Are you really there for me
and with me? (not just physically?)
When you are up on top,
in your happiest moments,
Do you remember me?
If you do something,
knowing it will hurt or offend me,
Will you feel for me?

If I say I am happy,
Do you laugh with me?
If I tell you I am sad,
Will you hear me out
and not turn away?
When I dream a dream,
Will you hope and dream
for me?
Or will you put me down?
If I tell you I am dying...
Will you still care
and love me all the same?

I do not ask for your full attention,
As I respect your personal space
and rightful freedom.
I never ask for you to change (for me)
If you do, your nasty ways,
I would want it to be for you.
I do not ask for all your heart,
For I know you have dear family
and friends to care for (& so do I).
I do not want your money,
a big house or fancy cars.
For I believe I can earn
and achieve the same.

But who am I to demand
from you anything?
What right do I have to
make you see and do me right?
No, I do not own you,
Nor do you, me.

When you tell me, "I Love You",
What is the meaning behind it?
What makes you so sure you do?
And what makes me so worthy of your love?

Help me see,
(Oh, I have tried.)
Let me be...
Or, just set me free.

Goodbye, 2009, Welcome, 2010!

So, once again, another year is coming to an end. I've said this tons of times before, but it's true - Time really flies!

2009 had been a very interesting year. I know I started out slow, and wasn't exactly sure it would turn out good at all. Well, it had been a roller coaster ride, I must say. There were the ups and the downs; the challenges - good and bad; the surprises; loads of changes - new things, new places, new people; and not forgetting, the fun. ;)

I didn't have clear resolutions written down for the year, though. Oh well, what's past is past. Perhaps I should start journaling.

This time around, I'm ready to welcome 2010! I've got my Bucket List already. :) It will be an amazing year, I know it!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Christmas is here!:)

It's December again, and my schedule has been soo packed since come December, no kidd! I'm pretty exhausted as of now, but it's all great!
There were definitely some major changes, and yes, changes may be hectic & difficult, but once you get the hang of things, you'll find they do you more good than sticking to the status quo.
For once and for real this time around, I can say "I'm having fun!" again. *All Smiles*
Some self-discoveries & awareness & improvement along the way. The answers may not be right out there, but I'm trying each & every day to be as present as I can be, and to appreciate life and everything and everyone I have around me.
Thanks to all my great friends for just being in my life, whether you have been here for years or we have just met. You guys are all awesome! There are no accidents, and indeed, Everything does happen for a reason. Praise the Lord!

It has been an amazing last month of the year. And my favorite occasion is just around the corner, too! 'Tis the season to be jolly, Fa la la la la la la la la...

People walk in and out of our lives every day. Some may stay, but some come and go. Regardless, one thing is for sure. Our lives will never be the same again.

Life

Live life to the fullest. Love like you have never loved before. Do whatever makes you happy.

Yeah, they sure make these sound pretty easy. As if Life is that easy.

I know 'Everything happens for a Reason', but I still can't quite figure out what the reasons are. HAH! Perhaps, in time to come, I'll see, they say. (I hope!)

Life is more meaningful when you have a goal and you work towards achieving it. I do have goals, but I have come to realize that it's not everytime one gets what he/she wants.

What do I really want? People tell me I'm still young. Plenty of chances and a long road ahead. I don't feel young, though I do need to constantly remind myself that I am only 22 (well, coming 23 soon). I haven't felt young since...I forgot when. Perhaps since I became a mother. As much as I love my son, Nathan (he is the joy of my life and means the world to me - the greatest gift from God), I still need to remind myself again and again that I am a mother and he is here to stay. And I will continue to provide the best I can for him.

I really shouldn't complain, should I? Oh, why do they make it seem so easy in the books and movies? Fairytales suck! They're bunch of lies, portraying and depicting false images of what reality really is.

I don't know if it's a phase in life, but right now, I feel suffocated. I need space. I need to breathe. I need a break. A break from Life.

Mixed Feelings

I guess it is normal to have the ups and then the downs in life. At this very moment, I think I am somewhere on the verge of plunging 'down'...

I guess one can't always be on the Up. I guess it was because I was focusing so much on keeping myself 'up' in the high that I forgot to look back and through and analyze the situations. All the times, I kept telling myself to be strong and be positive (Not that these are bad). I am, indeed glad that I chose to be that way. Look where it has put me now! :)

Then again, I guess I was too busy with making everything else and Life perfect that I forgot to really seize the moment, every ups and downs, especially.

I can't believe that it has just dawned on me... after all these whiles.
What have I been missing? What about me?
Time flies.

The Notebook

I know this is a 2004 film, but I just watched it, and I have got to say, it has got to be one of the best movies, ever!

Based on the novel by American romance-fiction novelist, Nicholas Sparks (who also wrote A Walk To Remember, which also made it to the big screen), this tearjerker tells of a love story, a love so true between Noah and Allie. Sparks said his wife's grandparents inspired him to write The Notebook. They were married for over sixty years when he met them, hence decided to pen down such true love.


The movie starts with an elderly man reading the story out of a notebook to a female fellow patient suffering from dementia, in a modern-day nursing home. Then it brings us back to the 1940s when 17-year-old local country boy, Noah Calhoun (Ryan Gosling) first laid eyes on the love of his life, a city girl from a 'richer-than-god' family, Allie Hamilton (Rachel McAdams).



And the rest...Phew! I have never cried so much and so badly watching a movie (apart from The Green Mile), but The Notebook moved me soo much that I am still affected by it.

The chemistry between Ryan and Rachel is just awesome! They are both great actor and actress and both beautiful people.

And they actually ended up together - Gosling claimed their love story is much sweeter than Noah and Allie's. It was like they were destined to be together. Both Gosling and McAdams were born in the same town in Canada, in the same hospital. Talk about coincidence! It is sad, however, that this has become history. They just make the perfect pair!



So, soulmates do exist. A love story is not measured nor judged by the good and sweetest times together, but by the hard and testing times which two persons manage to walk through, and make it the best and sweetest love story ever.

The Notebook is a beautiful movie - a definite must-watch! See for yourself :)

Destiny

"Destiny is the bridge you build to the one you love."
-from 'My Sassy Girl'

Sweet. And true.

Most people tend to sit and wait for Destiny to come knocking on their doors. They say "If it's meant to be, it will be."
Well, yes. Destiny can come in many forms, and sometimes, they may have come and passed or may have been right in front of you the whole time, but if nothing has been done, and you continue to sit and wait for something to happen, it most probably will never happen.

Let's put it this way. In this context, 'Destiny' applies to everything else besides just love. If you want and long for something so badly, you will be working hard towards getting it. Moreover, if Destiny (or an opportunity) has already presented itself right in front of you and you know that it is right, will you let it slip through your fingers?

I watched the original Korean version of My Sassy Girl before, but did not quite get it. When I watched the American version last night, I thought it was beautiful. It is simply worth watching.

So, it is all a matter of Choice. You either create your own Destiny or just leave it to what we like to call Fate to do the job.

I do believe everything happens for a reason, but I love to choose to create my own Destiny. For that, I am grateful of what life has brought unto me and shaped me into today. :)

As I Mature

I got this off my girlfriend. It gave me good laughs, but hey, these are facts! (Well, most of them.)

As I Mature

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you.
All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

I've learned that no matter how much I care,
some people are just assholes.

I've learned that it takes years to build up trust,
and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes.
After that, you'd better have a big willy or huge boobs.

I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others
- they are more screwed up than you think.

I've learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you're finished.

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do,
unless we are celebrities.

I've learned that regardless of how hot or steamy a relationship is at first,
the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to take its place!

I've learned that 99% of the time when something isn't working in your house,
one of your kids did it.

I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon
and all the less important ones just never go away.



Okay, for the big willy and huge boobs part, I'd rather have a big heart & good brain.

Also, I don't believe that money works in saving a dying relationship. Of course it makes everything convenient when there is money, but if none is trying or playing his/her part to revive the relationship, it cannot be saved. Period.


Anyways, just for laughs :)

Gloomy

It's been gloomy lately, raining endlessly.
I certainly don't mind the cool and dark weather... as long as the rain stops and none of the other catastrophic events follows - flash floods, land slides which lead to power outage in certain areas for days. It's depressing.
The weather around the world has apparently gone nuts! What with heavy snowing in the north and extreme heat waves in the south. Again, the nasty effects of global warming. I'm not trying to sound cliche but it feels like Armageddon is near.
So, it's February already. What have I done so far?
I know I haven't exactly written down my resolution(s) for the year 2009, though I've had a few good ones in mind.
I can't help feeling that more unfortunate events will follow during this year - never thought that it's heading anywhere great. Silly, I know. I should be optimistic and looking on the bright side, as I've always implied before.
Alright. I better get back to my work. Take each day as it comes.

Come whatever, let Thy will be done.

Happy 2009!

So, it's another year and to date, there's 359 days left to go till the next.

2008 had been a great year. It had been awesome! I guess time flies when you're actually enjoying yourself.

Loads had happened and loads are happening and loads more are yet to come...

Heck! I don't know what I'm blogging here.
I haven't got the inspiration, hence the no-updates.

For now, let's just hope 2009 will be a much better year!

Happy New Year, everyone!

Twilight Fever

"I've never given much thought about how I'd die, but if I were to die in the place of someone I love, I guess that's a good way to go."

I was completely not in the thrill or excitement & I did not even get what the craze was all about, until I agreed to go on a movie date with my girlfriends from work last Friday night.

Since then, I'm hooked...


I've always been fascinated with Vampires, but there's something special which sets this movie apart from any other vampire movies I've watched.

I thought it'd be another soapy, cheesy teenage love story, but somehow, either the casts are good actors and actresses or they really connected, I could actually feel the intensity and chemistry.

Bram Stoke's Count Dracula, where Count died in the arms of a female human he loved, was sweet and all, but it did not touch me as much as this one does.

There was just something about Edward Cullen...(I only like the character)


Sad that such man only appears on the silver screen.
Sadder still is the fact that he isn't even human. *LOL*
Okay, I won't spoil the rest of the movie for those who haven't watched.

I can't wait to have my own collections of all the 4 books! It's sold out, twice!

What Will You Be In Your Next Life?

Funny.

This crazy topic just popped up during our conversation among colleagues in the office.

Say, if you have the choice (or chance), would you like to remain your original gender or become the other?

All the males opted to stay males, of course - as usual, due the pride and ego in being the more dominating sex, stereotypically, that is. There may be exceptions for special case(s), though.

Most females, including me, chose to stick to our feminine side.

"But, why? Females are the ones who suffer more in life!" we were asked - what with the most famous, monthly cycle thingy; having to bear children and give birth; the limitation in things we can do; and always the victim and preys in gender discrimination, sexual molestations, and the list goes on.

I'll tell you why. Yes, we may be generally and biologically, the weaker sex. Despite all these limitations, we are proud to be able to achieve what we have achieved, as women, throughout the human evolution and revolution - and we're still working hard and achieving more goals which would seem impossible and absurd for women to ever achieve, especially in the olden days.

Why work so hard?

One lecturer said, "Wanna be rich? Easy la. Just marry a rich man and enjoy life."

I said "No. So what if I ever marry a rich man? The wealth isn't mine, and I may not end up happy. I only find self-satisfaction from achieving my goals on my own effort."

He said "Good. I like the way you think."

During my job interview, my General Manager asked,
"So, you're married. Why do you want to work? Bruneians are well-off."

One, correction, not all the Bruneians are rich. They're only lucky they have a rich sultanate and do not have to pay taxes.

Two, (my answer) "I personally, am not the type who sits home and wait for my husband to feed me or the family. I want to work and cater to myself and my family as well."

I got the job I love. *Grin*

It's important for women to be able to stand on their own two feet.

Hell, yeah! We're singin'

"...If I wanted the rock you're wearing, I bought it. The house I live in, I bought it. The car I'm driving, I bought it, 'cause I depend on me..."

Yes, we may have to endure the monthly menstruation and ovulation cycle, but having to have that lets us know that our bodies are actually functioning well, the way we are created and as God intended for us.

Pregnancy and birth? Nauseas, cramps, spider veins, stretch marks... Sound familiar, Mummys?
Well, the wonder in discovering what your body can go through and produce really pays off, and Oh, the joy in holding your baby(ies) in your arms, and watch them grow! - Indescribable in words.

We may seem the weaker ones who suffer from most harms and prone to more danger. So, it's important how we carry and protect ourselves.

Oh, for the other few who opted to become males in their next lives, one gave the reason that she's tired of all the sufferings and heartbreaks she as a female, has to go through.
Another said she'd have to be a handsome male in her next life - reason being handsome men get all the chicks. Haha!

Hmm... I'd love to be a handsome man for a while, provided that all the unfaithful and ungrateful playboys become helpless females first. Time to taste your own medicine. *Evil grin*

LOL!

Congratulations, Obama!

So, the Democrats won! I'm happy. Many people around the world are happy, too. Wee~!
However, I can see great expectations and hope coming from the Americans and the world.

Come on, give it time. I am positive it's all turning out well. I know one aspect has already, but for the time being, that'd be up to time to disclose to the world.

I think people should eliminate whatever racial and negative thoughts and perceptions they have towards this potential leader. The world has changed. Let's give Obama a chance to prove to the world what he can do.

Congratulations, Democrats!